Eternal Beauty in Black
Encouraging the strength, courage, and wisdom of black women empowering themselves everywhere


Sunday, August 19, 2007

The strength of a good man

I saw a movie sometime ago. It was an old black and white movie of which I can't even remember. But there was a quote in there made by the single leading lady for what kind of man she was looking for. To paraphrase: "I just want to find a good honorable man."

Honorable.

Now that's not something you hear everyday in our current society.

Usually when people look for mates, at the top of the list is Hot, Good in Bed, Lots of money.

Mmmmkay.

Whatever happened to honorable? Or responsible? Respectful? How about good character?

We are so absorbed and used to what the media's idea of the essentials in life and partners based on what we see, read and are exposed to everyday (especially by subtle forms of advertising) that the strength of character has fallen to the wayside. We women (to paraphrase Why Did I Get Married?) don't even see the good men because we're too busy holding onto the bad ones! And I've been guilty of this. I had that tingling doubt that I couldn't do better than the guy I was with at the time (whom wasn't really much of a prize). I wanted someone who was eager to share his life with me. To take care of me as a man should for his family and to actually be a man. And in guys' defense, I think men are fed a short stick these days in what it really means to be a man because the definition is shown in oversexed, macho, horndog shows like The Man Show and the like without any regard for responsibility, maturity and mutual respect with a woman who shows him respect.

Hmm, drinking 6 packs of beer, slamming it on your head and then belching loudly is not my idea of sexy. And to counter that, feminine guys are similarly not that sexy to me either. I don't care what the Durham & St Andrews study concluded.

My father is an awesome man. I'm am really blessed to have him as my dad because I saw the best example of what being a man is. He took care of his family and loves my mom to this day after 30+ years of marriage. They still make each other laugh and know what the other is thinking. He's highly respectful of me and my mother and always thinks about his ladies with regard to the choices he makes for his family.

I want that in a man. Every woman out there (yup especially us beautiful black women -- no matter what kind of life long programming has told you otherwise) deserves that!

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Posted by Eternal Beauty in Black :: 2:33 AM :: 0 comments

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